Are Women only sex objects?
In our ‘PowertoWomen.in’ workshops, we try to reach the core issues of this problem. Basic crude fact is that most of us men love to look and imagine other women as sluts or sexual objects. A jean, a top, a sari or a burka… We have always had the roving eye for sex and equate it with women mostly. Newspapers, Magazines, Music videos, movies all know this fact. That why a half or full naked women is so acceptable in our modern society does not matter whether its a shoe advert showing women posterior or selling a bike with a sexy girl sitting behind you or a new song with bikini white girls or sensation about Poonam Pandey videos and Sunny Leone movie.
But we also know other men look at our loved ones (daughters and mothers) in the same context as we look at a girl or a women. So thus the issue of covering up is the Favorite pastime for fathers, brothers, boyfriends and husbands. Most men look but not everybody turns out to be molesters or rapist.
Do Modern Clothes attract Rape??
I feel the focus on clothes and crime is just to attract attention by people who love to talk with no knowledge of the issue. Statistically, also there is not evidence, women related crime is any bearing on the clothes. Florida, women wear bikinis and yet there are around 5000 rapes every year. Afghanistan women wear burka a clothe that covers from head to toe and yet it has alarming number of sexual abuse and violence on women. Clothes do matter in small way whether it’s man or women, so one has to ensure they wear the right clothes for right places. I will not preach which clothes are right for where, I really think all women know that. I personally feel sari’s are much more provocative than mini-skirts! But that’s just me… There are thousand of people with the old mindset and sadly they have now resorted to physical abuse apart from mental and verbal abuse. So, if you want to be a flag bearer of women issues with clothes, please remember the people who’s mindset you are challenging won’t treat you with respect overnight. So, as a women safety empowerment speaker, my only advise is do not be blind to violence. Do not assume you will ask for your rights and things would change with you being the hero. Every change in history has gone through violence and every choice we make has consequences. Good or bad, at least be educated about it.
Are the men who attacked the girl were monsters from hell?
Actually, from my point of view, those men were not much different from our brothers, fathers and relatives. Men and women will always have different outlook of life. But that does not mean all men resort to violence against women. These men did. I try to peek a little into a normal family life to understand why?
A family sits down to watch a new movie where the item song comes where there are many girls dancing in underwear or a male beating up a women or a sexual assault against a women. When the father has no issues with this picture, the son also gets a subconsciousness message that if it’s ok for father to look at women as sex objects or use force and violence, it’s ok for me to also look at women like that. Mothers usually has no say on this and the silence itself is a proof of the power of the man. I personally cannot even imagine goes through the mind of the young girl of that ‘normal’ family. Maybe she feels, like the way the women took the abuse, she has to follow that pattern. Or maybe she think if she wants to be popular like those ‘attractive’ women on screen she has to be that beautiful, slim and as well as by that dress code. I am still researching on this point of view.
Research on emotional reactions to violent or sexual content has been concerned with the possibility that continued exposure to violence or sexual content in the mass media will result in desensitization, that is, that exposure to media violence or sexual content will undermine feelings of concern, empathy, or sympathy that viewers might have toward victims of actual violence and in terms of sexual content, it’s been reduced to a level of being a pleasure object or less sympathy for victims of domestic violence as well as rape victims as they ‘asked for it’. Participants also indicated that they were less depressed and enjoyed the material more with repeated exposure.